OMAHA, NE – Dr. Rory Holloway, an orthopedic surgeon hailing from Nebraska, recently received the state’s physician of the year award for the third straight year. Dr. Holloway operates chiefly out of Lincoln and specializes chiefly in knees, although he is known to operate on broken bones of all varieties and claims to have performed his wife’s first breast augmentation. The award is based on post-encounter patient polls, which reveal that his average patient is happier than a podiatrist working in a VA.
We at The Pannus set out to demystify the legend and found that chief factor boosting Dr. Holloway’s success was not his bedside manner. Nor was it his patient-centered outcomes (statistics report these are quite average). Rather, it was Dr. Holloway’s elegant hair. More simply put, his Faux hawk.
Even more simply put, the manner in which he forms the hair on opposite sites of his head into equally angled inclined planes that form a razor sharp edge which perfectly bisects his body is the reason patients love him. Sometimes, however, he likes to mess it up a bit in the middle after an intense workout in the gym to help give that “I just had a killa workout” look.
“At first I thought it was the Chinese character tattooed on his neck – Well, probably Chinese but definitely Asian – that made me confident he’s a great surgeon,” bubbled 76-year-old Rebecca Ledbetter, swaying slightly on her 2 prosthetic hips. “But I then I realized it was his perfect hair! That tattoo probably means courage… or strength or something.”
“I think it is all his Livestrong wristbands,” commented a twenty-something with a recently repaired left ACL. “The way he rocks 5 per wrist is really special. Those really demonstrate how dedicated he is to, you know, charity and being unique and stuff. Oh and have you ever seen a sleeveless white coat? Super hot. I almost tipped.”
So to conclude, we are not sure if Faux hawks make better doctors or just hotter doctors, but one particular surgeon is sure making it warmer in Nebraska.
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