The American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has updated their guidelines for managing altered mental status (AMS) patients coming into the emergency department.
Love the fact that the neurological service is never mentioned. Stroke dodging bastards. Surprised the protocol left off the big letters at the bottom: IF ALL ELSE FAILS CALL THE FP, MURMUR SOMETHING UNINTELLIGIBLE AND GIVE A ROOM NUMBER. IF THE FP DARES TO SPEAK SCREAM “YOU’RE THE PRIMARY” IN AN AGITATED TONE, SET OFF A RANDOM ALARM IN THE ER AND PUT THE PHONE DOWN ON THE DESK. AS YOUR VOICE FADES INTO THE DISTANCE HAVE A RANDOM NURSE HANG IT UP. PRACTICE THIS DRILL WITH SEVERAL NURSES. Bonus points if the FP service never figures out what your admitting diagnosis was. Double bonus points if pt gets to the floor and the FP name is on the chart before the labs come back. Triple bonus points if all of the above is true AND the patient has no IV access. Sweepstakes prize if the pt is non communicative and was on the medicine service last week and was discharged home with an elderly spouse prior to the 3 days needed for SNF placement… I can play this game all night.
https://www.facebook.com/kelly.averill.5 Kelly Averill
Damn it, they’re on to us: Leon Leon Grant, Jitesh Kar, Proleta Datta, Michelle Christie, Keely Fitzgerald
https://www.facebook.com/haley.johnson1 Haley Johnson
Alex Josiah Dunn yes, yes we did
https://www.facebook.com/anne.clinton.14 Anne Clinton
Ok we have similar decision tree jokes in tech so now am aware of how not funny they are to layman
https://www.facebook.com/arwooley Angela R. Wooley
Let’s include statistics in the manual here…AMS is about 5% of the time primary neurologic? Thanks for the consult. Let’s not check a sugar, get the 14th head CT this year, and call a consult. Ha.
https://www.facebook.com/alex.j.dunn.1 Alex Josiah Dunn
Haley did we write this?
https://www.facebook.com/RCWetz Colin Wetz
I didn’t see “yell at the internist” on the algorithm
https://www.facebook.com/heather.day.509 Heather Day
Surprisingly accurate…
https://www.facebook.com/jonathan.longoria.10 Jon Longoria
Mohammad, Dustin, Nitish: LOL!
https://www.facebook.com/christopher.wright.3344 Christopher Wright
Yup. I don’t need a practice parameter for that. It’s just good medicine!
https://www.facebook.com/david.wyler.3 David Wyler
How about the dreaded, “We are just a consult service, we don’t admit.” Then in the AM when they still haven’t seen the patient, “I didn’t realize you wanted a consult.”
https://www.facebook.com/michael.flamoe Michael Flamoe
They forgot a step off of “probably a stroke.” –> Has one of the following: diabetes, pneumonia, CAD, COPD, polypharmacy, or finger pain –> Turf to medicine, act as a neuro consult.